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POEMS 

nDorotky Landers 'Beall 



POEMS 

TDorotky Landers "Beall 



JAK 



New Yorl^ 

Mitchell Kennerley 

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Copyright igio hy 
Mitchell Kennerley 



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DEDICATION 



>£ TO MARY B, WILKIE 



When all my world shall read me ; when bright tongues 

Like tiny searing flames shall bum and run 

Among my spirit-palaces; when smoke 

Of much dissension rises like a ghost, 

Blue-pale above the ashes of the end, 

There will be one to raise me, one whose heart, 

(Dearest Interpreter!) will know me best, 

Regardful of the pinnacles unbuilt; 

One, prophesying all the glory dreamed. 

Forever dreamed and one day consummate! 



POEMS 

PAGE 

REVELATION ii 

TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 59 

THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 75 

MATINS HI 

A LOST LOVE 112 

THE ANSWER 114 

SELF-KNOWLEDGE 115 

SOUL 117 

APOLOGY 118 

THE BRIDGE 119 

THE SONG OF THE SUBWAY 120 

THE GRAY APE 123 

MONA LISA 125 

A CLOUD 126 

BACCHANALIAN 127 

SICK FANCIES 128 

THE HEALER 130 

THE LOVER 131 

THE SUNSET 132 



REVELATION 



PART ONE 



O, I might tell you how her eyes' warm blue 

Kindles her face to beauty! I might say 

Her hands are delicate as evening clouds, 

And so enumerate her loveliness. 

This shall suffice to show you what she is : 

Her soul is wide and Infinite, a sky 

Wherefrom grave, beautiful and tender stars 

Do lean above the world. High, still and sure. 

Whiter than whitest woman-purity 

Is her magnificent and tender soul. 

So that, in mounting on my wings of love 

Up awedly into that arching peace, 

I fold me in all beauty, so, transcend 

By her high spirit to the feet of God ! 



[II] 



REVELATION 



II 



My life had paced quiescent thro' the years 

Until I saw her — melancholy years — 

Dull, lagging, pitiless and loveless years! 

I was not wholly miserable, no, 

Study absorbed me. All my day was spent 

In ' getting understanding,' which is good. 

But cheerless at the end and profitless 

If no transcendent treasure be secured! 

But when I saw her, my dead spirit woke, 

Smote lightly all my heart-strings, softly breathed 

Such wonderful and eloquent sweet sound 

That all my being answered, ' This is She ! ' 

Thus did I come upon her, as it were, 

Down passage-ways of cloud-rift to a star! 



[12] 



REVELATION 



III 



Such exquisite seclusion guards her soul 

(As If an angel sits beside the door 

Of her pure being) that I dared not hope 

Even a quiet boon of friendliness. 

I was so reverent before her grace 

That her quick robe-sweep set my heart aflame 

Into my eyes and voice. She walked apart, 

Sometime communing with primeval calm 

Like a grave maiden in a forest place 

Where the fair greenery and sllentness 

Shield her as utterly as Innocence. 

She was absorbed into a star-lit peace 

And talked with God ! Then I gazed at my soul, 

Crying, ' O Fool and dar'st thou love her — thou?' 



[13 



REVELATION 



IV 



Once I was bold to give her a white rose, 
Not whiter than her delicate fair hands, 
Not warm and radiant with life as they. 
But fragrant, meet for laying at her shrine, 
And, as she touched it, all my loving rose 
In a white, ardent, tumultuous flame 
That ran o'er all my body! Then I cried, 
' Look deeper in the flower-heart, look well ! 
Is there no other gold — true gold of love?' 
Her eyes plunged fathom-deep into my soul 
And on her face, a terrible, wide pain 
Scarred all the quiet pleasure — 'You love me?' 
She questioned dully. ' O learn not to love ! ' 
But tenderly she guarded my white rose ! 



[14] 



REVELATION 



Her heart Is great as all the universe 

For suffering and childhood! You should see 

How lovingly she touches the round heads 

Of the small parish children. Here, I thought, 

Is a sweet mother-nature, long frustrate 

Of its true loving. O my Lady, you 

Who would so gladly fold a rose-small form 

Into your eager arms, God fore-ordalned 

That you should clasp the whole, weak, weary 

world 
Into a great embrace of sympathy! 
You are a little mother of us all. 
My gentle-fingered Lady, my dear love! 
I walked along beside her, marvelling 
That such great love as mine were unexpressed. 



[15] 



REVELATION 



VI 



My love for her, and her great dread of love, 
Made me as dumb as sadness. How could I 
Offer my soul and see her shrink? But she 
Gave me the friendliness I sought at first. 
Once, I remember, she wrote, gallantly 
A note of mock surrender — * I reserve 
My heart for you — faithful and constant!' 

* Love, 
Dear Love,' I cried, (for I was half unmanned, 
Alone, in a vast waste of tenderness!) 
* Is there no truth, no deep sincerity 
In your small note?' The elves of merriment 
Retreated from her eyes and left, instead. 
Two gray, wan shadows that were full of woe. 
Reproaching me that I had caused her pain. 



[i6] 



REVELATION 



VII 



But those first days were pleasant. All my hope 

That her soul would grow eager at my touch 

Could not break up an Intercourse so rare 

In sympathy. Music awoke in us 

Like rapture. With our hearts attuned, our hands 

Hidden beneath her furs and velvet, touched 

Often, in very ecstasy of joy 

At such a blent infinity of sound! 

The tender sadness of the violins 

As they wailed up Into a great despair 

Beat at her spirit like the voice of God! 

* It is too exquisite for life ! ' she cried. 

Then turned to me for sympathy and met 

Music of love that hovered on my lips. 



[17] 



REVELATION 



VIII 



Why do I love you ? First and chief of all 

Because, in your white human soul I find 

An answer to my boundless questioning — 

A satisfaction of that great desire 

To love all, be all, compass all — the cry, 

Vain, weak, insistent, wherewith finite minds 

Do storm the fortress of infinity! 

O I do love in you the tender calm 

That lies somewhere quite near the throne of God, 

Where silver angels of your gracious thought 

Walk meekly, slender fingers clasped in prayer! 

And last, I love you, because God has touched 

My dullard soul and quickened it to flame 

That leaps in ardent beauty to your life ! 



[i8] 



REVELATION 



IX 



My Lady has a friend, gray, plumy-taiLed 

And very elegant. He lives, sky-roofed. 

In the great, gaunt and melancholy trees 

That rail above us In the winter night. 

The squirrel- friend is lonely (so she says, 

My ever-tender Lady!) and has need 

Of all the nuts she carries for his sake ! 

To see her hold her slender gray-gloved hand 

Cautiously out to him, is joy enough 

For me who stand attentive. See him come, 

Fastidiously, lightly as gray cloud — 

Half-condescendlngly ! Ah, small proud friend, 

Would I so hesitate, if she outstretched 

Her slender hand and summoned me to her? 



[19] 



REVELATION 



X 



Her letter, 'tis epitome of her! 

See the fair writing speeding like her thought! 

How reminiscent Is the wide white marge 

Of her great tolerance. The words, themselves. 

Are somehow all peculiar to herself ! 

Letter I love, letter how dumbly dear, 

(For every line speaks subtly, tenderly. 

Spite of the seeming coldness!) I do see 

My Lady's hand that formed you; I can hear 

The music of her spirit, mystical 

That played along the paper ! Can it be 

The letter is a thing material? 

Rather 'tis Instinct with her tenderness 

And golden with the beauty of her soul ! 



[20] 



REVELATION 



XI 



My Lady has the quickness of a wish! 
She speeds before me ever, just ahead, 
Never beside me. And in argument 
She doth outstrip my tongue eternally! 
Yet the position gives me vantage-ground. 
I can muse long upon her moon-spun hair. 
(Moon- fairies kissed her as she lay asleep 
And touched her hair in token, silver sprites!) 
I can exult, proud in my happiness 
When her lithe vigor struggles with a wind 
And battles him to nothingness ! I ween 
Never was Lady fleeter than mine own, 
Nor more exquisitely and wholly dear 
Nor more intrinsically beautiful ! 



[21] 



REVELATION 



XII 



The rivals that do crawl along my path 
I crush, thus — as a monster doth a worm. 
Their puny small resistance I subdue 
Into dull formlessness. But anger leaps 
To see them swarm around her ! O my moths, 
Tho' the sweet radiance may smile for you, 
The flame has never flickered at your breath. 
This light Is too effulgent, poor weak moths ! 
And yet, is my condition more secure? 
Meseems the flame has lately quickened, shone 
In fuller beauty — yet my moth-dom grows 
More thralling at the moment — and the Light, 
That Light of her great spirit, shines as firm 
For all my beating flight ! Alas, poor moth ! 



[22] 



REVELATION 



XIII 



Listen, I play my sotil Into the notes, 

The leaping silver notes! Chopin was wise 

To write of loving. 'Tis the only theme 

For life and inspiration ! Will you hear 

Great-browed Beethoven, the magnificent 

Who mounted wingedly into the night 

And plucked the stars for music! Hark, dear 

love, 
Grieg lilts of folk-lore and quaint Norway-love, 
Or flings the tragedy of northern life 
Into his songs of magic melody ! 
In each I find great pulsing sympathy — 
A moonlit pathway whereby tender dreams 
May reach the portal of your spirit-land. 
God grant them welcome and an open way! 



[23] 



REVELATION 



XIV 



The shadow of departure spread gray wings 

Above my ecstasy of happy love. 

I knew that I must speak to her, must say 

All my great passion into throbbing words. 

God, to consign her to eternity 

Of shrieking winds and steel-gray bitter waves- 

To leave her — not to see the morning-light 

Shine in her sky-wide eyes — to miss the leap — 

The quivering great leap of all my thoughts 

When she drew near me — O to lose the love, 

The tangible dear human love of her — 

This is supremest bitterness — and now 

My heart must face her clearly ! 'Tis her due 

Before the avid distance seizes us! 



[24] 



REVELATION 



XV 



So, on a day I heaped my loving up 

In mad, tumultuous and mighty show 

Before her. O, I told her all my heart, 

Tore wide the curtain of my self-conceit. 

Showed her myself — my naked, paltry self 

Sole-garbed In the garment of my love ! 

Neither did I disguise a wanton wish 

Creeping Into my eyes like wickedness, 

A vast desire for her love, her love ! 

O, I was mad, yet can It be forgot 

That I was likewise pulsed with earnestness 

And lost all reckoning In the great haste 

To have her to eternity of love? 

And thus I spoke my heart out utterly. 



[25] 



REVELATION 



XVI 



Then darkness fell between us for a space, 
Wherein small slimy creatures of my thought 
Wove misconceptions In my consciousness. 
Yet I demanded clearly, * Give me truth ! ' 
(For that one wish shone whitely, manifest 
Above the waiting silence of my heart!) 
At last, her voice came like an evening wind: 
' I cannot give you what your spirit craves ! ' 
Great God — the mighty agony! I fell 
Amid the desolation of great space. 
Then weary darkness closed and covered me. 
Merciful darkness born of God and Time ! 
Yet ever came the evening-gentle wind: — 
' I cannot give you what your spirit craves ! ' 



[26 



PART TWO 



There Is some other way! So, I believed, 

Argued and reasoned when my life awoke 

And numbly stretched Its members — thus took up 

The often-trodden, weary ways of Hope! 

She might, because of my unselfishness 

Thro' long and patient years be brought to love 

Half-Imperceptlbly as one who reads 

An oft-perused volume, shuts the book 

And, all unconsciously, repeats the lines. 

Not knowing that his mind has caught the sense ! 

O, I was happy thus to cheat myself! 

O Hope, Hope, Hope — thou witching slender elf 

That lurkest In the forests of our life 

To lead us to the swarthy mouth of Hell! 



[27] 



REVELATION 



II 



My letters followed her like silver gulls 

Even Into the land of her desire. 

How beautiful was all the world to me 

Because I loved her, being far from her. 

Far from her? Yes, for my heart whispered me, 

' It Is not terrible as you have thought ! 

Teach her to love you ! ' and, with her away 

My spirit listened like a foolish child. 

Beautiful laughed the sea ! ' Dear Sea,' I cried, 

* Guard well my Lady ! Gallant-going wind. 

Breathe on the ocean like a lover! Sky, 

Great Sky, smile down at her ! She is my love 

And worthy of your uttermost great care, 

For God has touched her spirit with His light.' 



[28] 



REVELATION 



III 



Hope came to me seductive In my grief — 
Beautiful Hope arrayed In living green! 
And far adown her fell her sun-gold hair, 
In her light laughter rang clear silverness! 
And, all unwittingly, I yielded me 
Utterly to her glowing soul! Her arms. 
White, slender arms, that clasped so lovingly. 
Suddenly chilled and clutched me ! See, her eyes 
Grown cavernous and gray — her long hair, cold 
With lifeless hoarlness — her tender mouth 
Agrin with ghastly teeth! Ha, Is this Hope, 
This the young Hope that came to me but now? 
Not so, not so — I loose thy haggard arms! 
Thou art no Hope, but terror-old Despair ! 



[29] 



REVELATION 



IV 



How can it be that you are not beside me? 

But now I felt Insistent gentle sound 

As If a mist-gray shadow that Is you 

(Yet not, O Love, as tender-warm as you!) 

Trailed its long robes and rustled at mine ear! 

Love, can it be that your voice pulsing out 

Under the star-eyed beauty of the night 

Has reached me and become articulate. 

Tangible, true — Incarnate, as it were 

In dear familiar sounds of sweeping robes 

That heralded your light free-going step 

In happy gracious love-time long ago? 

It cannot be; your life Is heaped so full 

With love and hope there is no need of me ! 



[30] 



REVELATION 



Her letters were so kind to me that I 

Read Into them a passionate warm sense, 

Remembering how near she was the night 

I held her prisoner and cried to her 

* Love me at last — love me ! ' Surely I win 

By my persistent seeking what I seek! 

And other days confirmed me : ' When again 

You look into her wonderful blue eyes, 

Their light will hold some tenderness for you ! ' 

Meanwhile I wrote her passionately, dinned 

Against her ears my clamoring hot love, 

Cruelly belaboring mere kindliness. 

Selfish, alas, in my unselfishness! 



[31] 



REVELATION 



VI 



I wove such wondrous visions In the night 
When all the world lay still around me, stars 
Whirled in my brain, and silver moon-lit thoughts 
Created her before me — incarnate ! 

thou, whose eyes bear mystical, complete 
The holy peace of God ! Whose heart is wide, 
A universe of tender, woman-thoughts, 
Whose touch is music and whose coming, light, 

1 cannot penetrate the mist-gray veil 

Of thine own beauty! O Lord God Divine, 
How can it be that I may love her so — 
I — who am altogether steeped In pain? 
Thus, thro' the silver silence of the night, 
I touched the floating hem of her white robe. 



[32] 



REVELATION 



VII 



Yes, I have felt a night of weariness 
Creep o'er her tender face. The shadow grew 
Terrible, gray, folded her brooding eyes 
Just as the darkness deepens round the stars ! 
The evil clamor of the shrieking world 
Stormed her calm spirit like a rude assault 
And all her life withdrew to solitude 
Where she might meet her being unafraid. 
Dear Love, It is not right, not right, I say. 
That lassitude should seize you in its arms. 
You were not made to suffer — you are pure 
And gentle as the Mother-Maid of Christ — 
It is not right! Rather let me submit 
And suffer in your stead, O tender love! 



[33] 



REVELATION 



VIII 



This terrible desire for her soul, 
This force that eats my very inmost life 
And kills the tender buddings of delight — 
Surely she understands it — O, she knows 
That I would rather see her heart leap up 
To meet my questing heart than gather in 
The wide great adoration of the world 
And its attendant pomp of loyalty! 
If I might see the love-stars in her eyes 
Shine out in a great mist of tender blue 
I would not look up at the angels' stars 
That mount above the majesty of night! 
O, I would almost send my soul to Hell 
If she might love me to eternity! 



[34] 



REVELATION 



IX 



I am too cruel to happiness ! I snatch 

Her flowers rudely and compress them — so — 

Against my famished lips, that all their breath 

Sweet to an exquisite great sweetness, dies 

And life-blood oozes from them, heavy, slow, 

Dropping against my heart — O avid heart, 

Empty of happiness, why art thou rude. 

Except that thou be brutal by despair? 

So with fair joy — the tangible sane joy 

Of nearness to my Lady, that were great 

Did I but look upon it calmly — see, 

I crushed it to me and the petals fell 

And I disclosed an empty flower-heart, 

Then wrapped me once again in loneliness ! 



[35 



REVELATION 



X 



Love me for love's sake ! Since you cannot give 
The gracious boon of woman's tenderness, 
Love me because I bring you such a gift 
As never heaped the altars of dead queens ! 
Love me because I pour my spirit out 
In turbid, vehement and flowing stream 
That shines, here, silver-white, all purity, 
There, darkly-crimson with my burning pain! 
Yes, love me for my loving. I am shamed — 
Humble, contrite to thus entreat of you, 
I, who was proud to ask no boon, ah fool ! 
But now I kneel as prostrate at your feet 
As some poor tamed beast ! Love me, I cry, 
Love me, at last, if only for my love ! 



[36] 



REVELATION 



XI 



O, I have seen such love leap In her eyes, 

Such a great morning-rise of happiness 

Light up her spirit In effulgent beam, 

And waken all the beauty of her soul! 

So that her eyes, erstwhile a midnight blue, 

Shone clearly In a sudden tenderness. 

And her dear voice did wreathe around that name 

Exquisite summer-garlands of her thought — 

Flowers of her loving ! Then, she lifted up 

Her memories and spoke of them to me, 

So that her speech was gentle as her love 

And every separate word a great caress! 

O, I have seen such love leap In her eyes — 

Infinite tenderness, magnificent! 



[37] 



REVELATION 



XII 



Christ pity us who wait — who sit half-crouched 

Over the dying fires of our hopes, 

Seeing the mounting blue flame of desire 

Dart upward spirit-like as anciently; 

Grown old with misery, our white hair wrapped 

About chill bosoms like eternal snow; 

Who start quick upward at a gentle sound 

Insistent on the pathway to our souls. 

Shrieking aloud — ' It must be she — she comes, 

She comes imperial ! Was waiting long ! ' 

And then to hear the footsteps pass away 

Irrevocably! Down we sink again. 

Christ pity us who wait eternally 

The footsteps of a love that never comes ! 



[38] 



REVELATION 



XIII 

Ingeniously, I wove my web of hope 
Across my mlnd^s too troublesome keen eyes, 
And thus ensconced me comfortably behind, 
Unmindful of the woe of self-deceit. 
One came to me and spoke of self-respect. 
Saying ' Give not too overwhelmingly ! 
The idol will be overthrown some day 
And you be left to crawl among the ruins ! ' 
I did not err in giving her too much — 
Too much to her — that great transcendent soul ! 
But I was blinded, blinded, searching here 
A bud of hope, finding it, tending it 
Exultant with a too-persistent joy. 
Unmindful of the woe of self-deceit. 



[39] 



REVELATION 



XIV 



Nay, give me now yourself, yourself: one kiss 

Upon the lips that I do raise to you — 

Some foretaste of the passion-wonderment, 

The love that lives somewhere within you, dear! 

O let me now possess you utterly. 

Let me so clasp you in my empty heart. 

Close, close against me — 'twere felicity 

As great as morning and as hot as life ! 

Nearer — come nearer — O, your eyes are blue, 

A veiled loveliness of blue, of blue ! 

Let me possess you even bodily 

That haply thro' your body, I may seize 

Your soul straightway! Then, dropping back to 

woe 
Fathomless in its blackness^ — take me, Death I 



[40] 



REVELATION 



XV 



How shall I greet you? With my inmost soul, 

Love-lit, serene and brooding at my lips ! 

I shall have cut away the gray old growth 

Of mossy evil that has crept around 

This old stump of my heart. A flame-quick leaf — 

A little new-born leaf, green as fair life, 

Shall spring up phoenix-like and grow aloft 

Into a mighty tree that, as God wills. 

Shall some day touch great heaven and be blest! 

This I shall bring you — and a love, dear heart, 

As constant as the blue strength of the sea. 

As surging as the sea and as witch-wild! 

O, I shall live In that brief moment's span 

A fervid, glowing life-time's happiness! 



[41] 



PART THREE 



I 



I know all now. I looked up tim'rously 
At her great beauty and in looking so 
Gained knowledge with the inspiration-flash. 

she is beautiful! Her eyes — her eyes 
Hold such deep intimations of her soul! 

Her heart sings at her lips ! Her hands are white 
As benediction! She is beautiful! 
And thus, aspiring to her loveliness, 

1 gazed at sky-born truth, I know all now — 
She cannot love me ! O ye mocking stars, 
You vastly cruel sky, I tell ye all 

She cannot love me ! O Infinity 

That tells me this is best, I hate your voice, 

I hate your mandates, hate your majesty! 



[42] 



REVELATION 



II 



Lucifer, thou great angel of my hope, 

How art thou fallen, fallen utterly ! 

One time I saw thee striding like a star 

Thro* the immensity of heaven's field; 

One time thy heart was red with ecstasy. 

Thy limbs more swift in going than the wind; 

And in thy hands the lightenings for swords, 

And all the sunset was thy flowing robe ! 

Lucifer of my hope, I sent thee out 

To climb the wilderness of midnight sky 

And gather me a mystic asphodel ! 

Thou climbdst too high and thus must fall as low ! 

Lucifer, thou great angel of my hope, 

How art thou fallen, fallen utterly! 



[43] 



REVELATION 



III 



O, the denial of her tender eyes — 
The sea-gray, sea-wide eyes that are to me 
So ultimately, passionately dear! 
This Is too bitter — I — I give her pain 
Who have so loved her that the slightest hurt 
To her fair body raised such woe In me 
That I was fain to tear my soul apart 
And offer her the fragments for a balm. 
I asked her what her truth can never give. 
Her eyes were wounded, all her tenderness 
Seemed weighted with my awfulness of pain. 
I — I have hurt her, yet, O stern, just God, 
Hell Is around me, demon-voices, sin — 
Hell of denial that I may not span! 



[44 



REVELATION 



IV 



It is not right that I should lose her so ! 

Stern Infinite, she was my all of light, 

My sunrise at the morning, my warm gold 

When the great sunset agonized to rest; 

She was the reason of my vanquishing. 

O, her wide soul was the vast sky for me — 

Her eyes were deeper than the blue-gray sea. 

Deeper in hope, deeper in purity. 

It is not right — not right that I should lose 

All the sweet glory of her loveliness, 

All impulse to a forward-moving life. 

O far, grave God, can it be Thou art cruel? 

It is not right that I should lose her so! 



45] 



REVELATION 



It was impossible! I loved her well, 

But luridly and evilly It seems, 

Her, whom It were a blasphemy to touch 

With other than mute reverence and peace. 

I cast myself before her — I grew old 

In loving with such passion. But I loved — 

That were sufficient homage for a few. 

But she could not bend from her starry height 

Where truth Is as the blessed atmosphere 

And holiness the very winds from God — 

She has the slender white straightforward grace 

Of a fair lily — and my God, I — I 

Am like the very earth she treads upon. 

Therefore It was Impossible — this love! 



[46] 



REVELATION 



VI 



You say you once were happy in my love. 

Gray seas of bitterness roll in on me. 

How can I bear the life-long, damning sense 

That I have miserably, wholly failed? 

I have put out the sunlight of my life 

By the close, palling cloud of my desire. 

You said once, (we were near in heart that day) 

* This, your great loving gives me happiness ! ' 

And I, poor fool, unknowing my weak soul 

Did heap wild protestation at your shrine — 

Silver for truth, gold for sincerity 

And purple for regality of hope! 

But the spoils sickened you — they were too huge — 

Ah fool — poor, passionate and tender fool! 



47] 



REVELATION 



VII 



And all around me there are memories 

Like fragrant lilies of a dream-wrapped life — 

And O, the perfume and the joy of them — 

And O, the bitterness and woe of them ! 

Every chance movement of my life is full 

Of subtle reminiscence — I but turn 

My books' — a wee wild rose she gave me once, 

Here her last letter. O my tender Love, 

My unapproachable and far-off Love, 

What hast thou heaped upon me carelessly! 

What is there left me from the wrack of things, 

That smoking desolation, save, perhaps, 

Infinite tenderness, immaculate. 

Infinite loneliness, unconquerable ! 



[48 



REVELATION 



VIII 



I send my love out^thro' the kindly night, 
Six-winged like the Seraph of the Book, 
Fleet, In the darkness, as a streaming star 
Cutting the gray-cold vapors of my doubts! 
Each wing doth bear him gallantly and strong, 
And every wing Is rosy with desire, 
Pearl-pinioned with my purity of faith 
And widely arching o'er the Seraph's head! 
His face is whitely glorious, aflame — 
His hands are strong to hold a woman's heart. 
But not yours, O transcendent You of dreams ! 
I send my love out thro' the kindly night, 
Six-winged like the Seraph of the Book, 
With sunset-colored wings of my desire! 



[49] 



REVELATION 



IX 



I creep along unmindful of the day 
Because my woe has blinded me. I see 
Nothing but darkness In futurity, 
No hope to stir the curtains of my soul 
That hang so darkly motionless. I rise 
Mechanically and my spirit shrieks 
'Wherefore the daily old accustomed things? 
Go hide thee in the blankness of despair. 
Wherefore, wherefore? A slender woman^s hand 
Has drawn the terrible wide midnight down 
For thee to hide In, but has left the stars 
To sing together! Hollow vast of night 
Is thine Inheritance — so creep thou on, 
Furtive as fear In a wide wilderness ! ' 



[50] 



REVELATION 



X 



Dearest! I want you utterly to-night! 

I fling from me the shallowness of hope, 

The sordid cowardice that shames my soul 

Even when I am surest of myself — 

I fling them all away — and in the night, 

The hospitable darkness, I stretch out 

My hungry arms to gather you at last! 

Dearest, I want you in this agony ! 

Do you remember how you came to me 

When some slight ailment woke your sympathy? 

That was a small, small hurt! Now, all my soul 

Is rent asunder with great bitterness 

And yet you cannot come to me to-night — 

God, how my spirit hungers for your love ! 



[51] 



REVELATION 



XI 



The demons bid me suffer and I writhe 
Upon the rack of pain that they prepare! 
And yet my deadened brain has held a thought 
That makes me almost hope I am not mad, 
So reasonable seemed it. I have asked 
The cruel thing they worship : wherefore this 
Eternal tearing at my heart-strings? Why 
Must I be rent apart and tortured? Then, 
Came a great voice of peaceful silver sound 
And sank into my spirit ! Then I knew 
That we are rent upon the rack of things 
That we may look into the eyes of men 
And say — *I suffered. Dost thou suffer, too?' 



[52] 



REVELATION 



XII 



Not that I blame her ! O, her way is right, 

Irrevocably right. To that I fix 

My stricken spirit. If one time a light 

Has crept into the chambers of my soul 

Revealing all the emptiness and dust, 

If a star, a radiant clothed star, 

Has streamed across the night of my desire, 

That light, that star is her soul-righteousness. 

And when I looked upon the tenderness 

Of gentle evening leaning on the earth 

I murmured, ' So would her love-tender soul 

Lean on my spirit.' I have dreamed too well. 

Have dreamed gigantic fantasy, and she 

Has flooded my drunk soul with morning light. 



[53] 



REVELATION 



XIII 



So — I renounce it. All the mighty wish 

That she should love me has passed from my soul 

Leaving an utter solitude and peace 

That bring a benediction, mem'ry-blessed ! 

So take your place in my hurt life, Beloved, 

You, the incarnate spirit of my love, 

You, the one gracious vision of my art. 

The inspiration of my fortitude, 

The intimate pure beauty of my soul ! 

I do so love you that my will can bow. 

I love you to eternity and death 

And in my loving am thus reconciled — 

You are the unattainable. Beloved — 

Lady of my life. Lady of my life! 



[54] 



REVELATION 



XIV 



This you can never take from me — my love 

And the great joy that floods my heart to-night 

When I remember all your loveliness : — 

The generous firm promise of your mouth, 

Your marvellous rare hair, most like, I think, 

To that Impalpable and subtle gray 

Of dropping summer twilight — your hands' clasp 

And the white, rose-sweet fingers, gently laid! 

Never can you take from me that great time 

When I stood breathless on a mountain-top 

Of exultation and gazed out beyond 

Into the upper silence of your soul 

As great as God's blue sky — and cried aloud, 

* How I do love her, love her — gracious God ! ' 



[55 



REVELATION 



XV 



We who have found a certain rare, great love, 

Must keep It sacred in a sacred place 

Of Ideality! No passion's wind 

Must rage among those silences! No wish 

For great impossibilities must stir 

The plume-tipped trees of that vast solitude! 

So, having purified our hearts and eyes 

To see as purely as the arching sky, 

We enter by the gate of tenderness 

Into the region of our sacred love 

To meet the glory of white loveliness ! 

And, looking to the God of gracious Peace 

Yield us to beauty Incarnate! O Thou, 

My Love, so shall I meet Thee and be blest! 



[56] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

I sit upon this summit of my life, 
Looking out wonderingly on the world. 
Surely there can be nothing lovelier 
Without my boundaries! 

And yet 
They say great cities tower on the plains 
And myriad swift streams of life flow down 
Toward the ocean. What can that be like — 
The ocean? I have known great rush of winds 
And felt my soul tear at the doors of life 
Eager to join and blow across the world! 
What joy of movement — what great happiness 
Sings in my life ! Thro' tumult of strong wind 
I rush along the battlements, sob out 
* Let me go with you, wind ! ' fling my long hair 
To blow and toss and leap since I may not. 
The ocean must be like the wind — as blue, 
Wide, limitless and mighty as the sky ! 
O, to be free for just a moment's span. 
To run along those westward gentle slopes, 

[59] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

So fair because beyond my boundary — 
O, to be free — to leap out like a deer 
Free^ — free ! 

O heart, why wilt thou Image forth 
A beauty never to be thine? The wish 
Can only hurt my close-pent life and rend 
My being all apart. 

My father said, 
When he lay dying, ' Guard her tenderly ! 
I would she grew as fair as morning-wind. 
As virgin and as white and undefiled. 
Create a wonderment of castle-ground, 
Flowers and trees and little living things: 
Within, ancestral sternness, frowning walls, 
Dark to impress her with authority. 
Hang tapestry of old-world tales! She'll read 
On them such fantasies as can be shown 
Not detrimental to her purity. 
But let no murmur from a living world, 
No slightest whisper of the way of men 
Molest her, I would have her pure ! 

O ye 
Who loved me see to this consummate wish ! ' 
And so he died. 

[60] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

O, sometimes I have felt 
(When I walked breathless thro' the empty halls 
A-tlp-toe lest I wake a creeping sound) 
His haughty spirit — in the tapestry 
A rustle like the rustle of his dress, 
A throbbing heart-beat near me. Nay, I swear 
In the long slanting bridge of yellow light 
From some high casement I have seen his hand 
Stretched out to keep me to obedience. 
And yet despite him I have heard the noise 
Of life. In some mysterious small way 
The tidings crept in thro' my castle-walls 
Like the green tendrils of a living vine. 
He has no right to chain me. O great God, 
I am a woman. Let me live my life 
As Thou ordainest! O my father, you 
Have stolen from me all the things I seek. 
I could have loved you, but you follow me 
Thro' these thick walls, a spectre, sombre-eyed, 
Terrible-browed and grim; you have no right, 
You who are dead, to grasp my living heart 
Between the iron fingers of your will. 
O let me go! 

I am too passionate, 
[6i] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

Too bitter! He was very kind to me 

And they are kind, his servants, but not keen, 

Not understanding — and I am alone! 

To-day the world is all awake. I saw 
The grasses swaying blithely in the wind. 
Laughing and swaying merrily. A small 
Yellow winged warbler threw a note at me 
Quintessence of pure liquid melody. 
Happiness compassed in a single sound. 
The little leaves are all a-dance with joy. 
Why, I am happy too! 

An old wife came 
Mumbling between her worn pink gums a word 
Of merry rout that passed the castle, lords 
A-hunting mirth and love with hounds at leash. 
Soft-nosed dear hounds with kindly, vacant eyes. 
She curtsied as she told me. 

' O,' I cried, 
*Why didst not tell me in the morning? O, 
I would so gladly see my kind — not these 
Old servants who surround me like a wall, 
Each man a figure-head of irony. 
Each woman grinning like a gargoyle-mask 

[62] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

To please me ! O, I want the heart of youth, 
Gay laughter, jest and merriment!' 

She smiled 
And curtsied foolishly. They told her to; 
I must be humored. 

Thou great golden day, 
I was so happy — am so miserable. 
Who can hold joy? And yet I would that one, 
One of the flock of lords had thought of me 
As the gay company ran by my walls. 
He might have looked up thoughtfully, have said, 
* Some one lives pent within those wondrous walls. 
So marvellously kissed by greenery, 
So beautified by love — some beating life 
Thrusts Its poor head between the ivied bars. 
Eager for liberty ! ' They never think. 
Those happy nobles. I am very poor 

In reason if I hope so. Let it be. 
The wind wails tearfully along the walks 
And the gray sky hangs ominously low. 
What haunts me? I have felt a heavy hand 
Laid on my shoulde-r. I have heard a step 
Following stealthily along the hall, 

[63] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

Following ghost-like, terrible and grim, 
Following ceaselessly until my heart 
Echoed the haunting footsteps in my ears. 
Beating out life-throbs wearily. O hark, 
Hear it come after me — O God, O God! 

My shriek has rent the vapors of my fears, 
I breathe again. Why, I am young and brave; 
Even the spectre of my father's will 
Following hard upon me cannot hold 
The springing, soaring freedom of my hope. 

To-night I look up at the vast black sky 
Seeking a star! I love them. They are small, 
Seem somehow friendly and protective. O, 
There shines my star, wondrously silver-pure 
Gleaming upon me thro' the awful night ! 
I look into the blackness of my life 
And find a mystery of new-born joy. 
What is this strange new impulse — happiness? 
I never knew the fleet sweet winsome thing. 
Hope? O, I have killed all hope with tears. 
This is desire like a flame-hot star 
Streaming across the night of hopelessness. 

[64] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

Drop down, O very swift and mighty star! 
Thou dost but herald bitterness more vast — 
A surging fire kindled at thy light 
To set my soul aflame. Most hellishly 
Shall I burn unconsumed, forever burn ! 

Desire of what nameless ecstasy? 
I swore to stifle it, but I am drawn 
Half-fascinated to the edge of night 
To gaze upon it. IFhat do I desire? 

mad, mad soul — O frenzied spirit ! 

God, 
This is the mandate of thy tyranny. 

1 do desire love — O flaming star, 
I do desire love! 

I dared not look 
Upon my Image in the lofty glass 
(When I had fled the magic of the night 
And that hot star) : I hid my burning eyes 
Under the cloud of hair that fell around, 
Lifeless and heavy. So I stood. The night 
Marched mightily across the world — no sound 
To stir my spirit — breathless, silent, dull 

[65] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

The great room yawned around me and beyond 
A small white glimmer in the heavy dark 
Showed me my bed, that narrow place of pain 
Tenanted by my agony and dreams, 
Tumbled by sleepless thoughts. 

Sudden I cried 
^This fear is craven,' lifted up my head 
And stared upon mine image. One tall light 
Like a pale ghost lit up the gleaming glass 
In its black ebon frame. I looked — O God, 
Another face stole all my lineaments. 
The eyes frowned out at me from massy brows, 
The lips, a firm hard line in the black mesh 
Of beard — a broad white forehead, mighty neck, 
My father! Quick I seized the candlestick, 
Hurled it against that stony brow — the crash 
Shivered my being! I have lain all night 
Prone in the blackness on my chamber-floor 
Knowing myself a murderer in thought. 

The hunt has passed again. I saw them all: 
Perched on a battlement of stone, so high 
I must have seemed like some rare pennant flung 
In many-colored folds upon the wind, 
I saw them. There were ladies purple-clad 

[66] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

With gallant-streaming plumes upon their heads 
And many knights in strangest gay array. 
I never saw a man like that. They laughed ! 
Strange — I have never laughed. The ladies 

looked 
Gayly upon the lords who doffed their hats, 
Let out the riot of long hair to play 
And dance upon the wind. There rode a knight 
Hindmost of all the company, tall, fair. 
Sunny-haired like a god! His plumes flew out. 
White messengers of peace. How strong he was, 
As strong as my desire for him. Ah, 
He could raze all these fierce old walls, could 

spring 
Lightly o'er every barrier between 
And yet he passed and left me ! 

How they laughed! 
How strange they seemed to me and beautiful! 

I shall send after him a wind-swift wish 

To run upon his track, leap at his steed 

And creep into his heart — this, my desire 

Shall surely bring him to me. O, I want 

More than all freedom, more than life and hope, 

[67] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

More than the happiness I hungered for, 
More than aught else I want his tenderness ! 

How great a thing this love of loves can be, 
How it can seize the soul and spur the life 
Into a frenzy of attainment! Hear, 

rushing winds, I love him — hoary trees, 

1 love him! 

I have lived so long alone 
With my own life I know the very beat 
Of smallest impulse. Know myself? My God, 
What other can I know ? What hast Thou willed 
For mine employment but the endless look 
Into my own poor being? Introspect? 
What is there left me but cold introspect? 
So that I know myself and loathe myself, 
Sick, sick to death of looking on myself! 

He would be very tender. In the night 
When I am lonely with vast loneliness 
Too great for tears, his love would fold my heart 
Quite warmly all around and leave no room 
For pain! 

[68] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

What if he came and loved me not? 
It cannot be. But If he came and laughed 
Carelessly at me as at those fair dames 
And flung his scornful manhood at my fears 
Half-satirizing my poor earnestness, 
I would draw out the dagger that I wear 
And plunge it in his heart — quite deep. 

You see 
I am not altogether young. But if 
He loved another I would cast my life 
Broken and trampled like a seared leaf 
Down at his feet and lie there half alive, 
Half dead in impulse, vibrant with my woe 
And let him raise or kill me as he would. 

Since I have loved, I live! O, in this space 
The world has opened to me and I read 
The meaning of all life. So do we learn. 
We women. I have read so much in books. 
Have known the soul of woman, Helen, Ruth, 
Great passion-blinded Cleopatra, her. 
The wife of wives Alcestis. I have lived 
With them and learned their spirits, found in them 
The very unnamed forces of my life 

[69] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

Quiescent, till my love has raised them up ! 
Those women taught me how to think. We are 
So quick to grasp all beauty, very swift 
To seize the truth — intuitive. We live 
From the heart-centres, do we not, all ye 
Great women I have known and loved? 

God knows, 
So far my father failed to hamper me, 
He left me books, forgetting that they are 
The monuments of thought and life. 

I lie 

Among the gentle grasses. I can hear 
Them tug against the fetters of their roots. 
They love the sun, a warm and real thing. 
What do I love? A shadow. All the rest, 
The beings in my life are shadows too. 
Myself, a queen of shadows. But I know 
Somehow the living impulse of it all 
Has taught me that desire of a thing 
Is prophecy of its attainment. Lo, 
I shall yet have my love because my soul 
Cries out for it — this wondrous sun-gold thing. 
This most divinest ecstasy, my love! 

[70] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

I peered behind a tapestry by chance 

And saw a little low-browed beetling door 

That lurked away from me. I flung it wide 

And stepped within the chamber — ranged books 

Of war and law and history, wide maps 

The world in miniature, an ample chair 

Sternly carved in black walnut, empty walls 

And iron hangings — that was all and yet 

My father's spirit lived there incarnate. 

It seemed as tho' I stood within his heart, 

That iron prison. In the dark stern place, 

I the sole light, the only beauty, I 

The lonehest drear love of all his life! 

Then the great walls closed on me nearer, strong. 

Terrible, cruel, loving with that love 

That kills the well-beloved. How they closed. 

Drew tall around me — ' Room, O give me room ! ' 

I shrieked, ' I cannot love you — give me room ! ' 

The walls cracked from the topmost, rushed apart, 

Fell into ruin, left me desolate 

In that old empty chamber. O my life. 

Why must this awful memory of him 

Tower colossally above my mind? 

I have lived quietly within the walls 

[71] 



TO HIM THAT KNOCKETH 

And never broken his stern rule. 

Thereon 
A voice came to me like a star-clear bell: 
' Yet thou hast lived, lived, loved in spite of him — 
He was the thief. O dare to live and love. 
Be not afraid — Thou art thyself — thine own I ' 

When the old earth stirs under xnorning kiss 
And lifts up arms to seize all beauty, I 
Stand quite alone upon my battlement 
And send my soul out to my love. Desire, 
Strong, vital and prophetic, lives in me, 
Grows into great perfection! He will come, 
Tho' I wait thro' the night of centuries, 
Sit carven like a lichen-covered rock, 
Motionless, gray and waiting; I shall wait. 
Sure of his coming, sending that great wish 
To speed him ! I have conquered. He will come. 



[72] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



I 



Below us sings the sea; to-day he casts 
His majesty aside and lulls the rocks 
With such sweet music, that his tenderness 
Tears at their stony feet ! ' O let us go,' 
They cry, ' The sea is masterful ! And we, 
Tho' rugged, are all eager for his love.' 

Out there, a delicate gray ocean bird 

Swims in that other blue above us, wide, 

So wide it is, so infinitely great, 

My soul mounts up, up, like the silver bird. 

Inspired yet knowing not the potency 

That speaks aloud thro' such blue magnitude. 

The sands come gladly down to meet the sea. 
On them I read strange writings, destiny 

[75] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 

Too great for me — a prophecy of joy 

And hope and bitter sorrow. Far away, 

One solitary figure walks along 

Toward me. All the blueness of the world 

And that one figure walking toward me. God, 

I am so very small — ^Thou art so great ! 



[76] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



II 



He takes such strong possession of my life 

That I am meek before him, penitent 

To be unworthy of the ardent strife 

He wages for my spirit, well-content. 

The great virility of his desire 

That would raze all the obstacles between 

The creature, me, does potently Inspire 

Great reverence within me. O, I ween 

He Is a man — a man! And I am weak, 

Being a woman. O, I fear his love, 

Fear the great passion-vengeance he would wreak. 

And yet, how very tender he would prove. 



[77] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



III 



O very long ago I made a vow 

Never to yield my soul up utterly, 

Never to stoop to such ignoble truce, 

Never to seek the solace of a love 

That were half-sensual^ — to know no rest 

Till I had shut me forcibly within 

The iron prison of my self-control. 

And once inside surround me wondrously 

With undreamed beauty, delicate as morn, 

Tender as evening, passionate as noon, 

Yet beauty of my own creation, pure, 

Immaculate, untainted by desire! 

That was my vow; should I not reverence it? 



[78] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



IV 



To-night he comes. O little kindly star 
Hung quaintly at the window of my soul, 
Shine sllverly! And tho' my pain doth mar 
This chamber of my spirit, make me whole, 
Cleanse me and fashion me! O Infinite 
White light of beauty, glorify my night! 

To-night he comes and In that little word 
I do unroll the carpet of my dreams 
Before this arrogant and gracious lord 
Who has so stormed my spirit. O meseems. 
This Is a world of tenderness ! Afar, 
Ten thousand lovers worship thee, my star. 

I do so love him that my heart would pray 
Great pain for him, soul-tearing agony. 
That I might kiss his suffering away 
And blot his woe out with vast sympathy. 
Yet, If he suffer, all my tenderness 
Doth bleed great drops of life-red bitterness! 

[79] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



He turned my face up swiftly to his lips 
And kissed me hard upon the eyes. I feel 
The burning beauty of his passion now : 
The magic loveliness of that first kiss 
Sealing my eyes to dreams magnificent 
Clears my low vision. I can see his soul, 
His vast and gentle soul, can hear his life 
Beat up against my heart. 

In the still night, 
He strode so resolutely thro' my dreams 
It seemed as tho' he stood beside my bed I 



[80] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



VI 



Worn and cavern-eyed, sorrowful, gray. 
Towers the ancient woman of Flete. 
Her eyes go questing away, away 
Where the worlds of sea and heaven meet. 
(O woe for the women that wait!) 

Panting and agonized, eagerly swift 

Beats the life of her bosom, that ancient place 

Where her loves have lain. Will the mist-clouds 

lift 
And show her the gleam of a tender face? 
(O woe for the women that wait!) 

Never the voice I would hear. 
Never the heart I would hold. 
But a horrible icy fear 
And the creeping salt-sea cold! 

(O woe for the women that wait!) 



[8i 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



VII 



Such a hush on the world — such immaculate 

morning peace, 
Such a tremulous throb of waiting. The gray 

waves cease 
Their ardently murmurous whisper. The 

beaches lie 
In generous silver surrender beneath the sky. 
O the wonderful matinal quiet ! My spirit aspires 
To the wide-soaring archway of heaven. This 

beauty inspires 
Such exquisite tenderness in me — such terrible joy ! 
Kneel reverent, O my young spirit! The day 

is at hand 
And the marvellous sea and the sky and the low- 
lying land 
Unite their great paeans of worship — the day is 

at hand! 
Gold beauty that shines on the sea 
Shine softly on me! 
Great grayness of sea rushing in, 
Multitudinous din, 

[82] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 

Teach me thy resignation! Give me peace; 
Roll over me thy endless waves, nor cease 
To chant melodious loud prophecy 
Of the black stretches of futurity. 
Love is not greatest in this wondrous world 
Where all is great. I turn me to the sky 
And all the company of nature, woods 
Of mystery and lakes and ocean waves — 
Let me grow wise in your humility! 

And yet the mystic writing on the beach! 

I must go on. I must accomplish this 

For which the centuries have sent me forth ! 



83] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



VIII 

White roses climbing up the hill, 
White roses, are ye virgin still? 
Or has some finger spoiled your loveliness 
By a too-ardent sudden tenderness? 

White roses swaying to the wind, 

White roses, are ye always kind 

To the hot bee that sucks your soul out? Shine 

Ever your petals tremulous, divine? 

White roses, dropping autumn tears. 
White roses, do your heart's arrears 
Of love and hope and yearning torture ye? 
Or are ye well-content as I must be? 



[84] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



IX 



Paces his love thro' all my soul-rooms. O, 
I am a puerile creature! Must I yield 
And cease the torture that is hell to me 
And lowest hell to him? 

Last night I tore 
All self-deceit and folly from my life 
And looked at truth. I love him, yet am proud, 
Too pitiably proud of my poor self 
To tender him my soul. Can this be right? 
In loving we must lose identity 
And worship to the fullness of our souls. 
I should be glad to yield me and am sad. 
I am irrevocably cursed. His step? 
Why do I start and tremble? He is near, 
O he is near, my great impetuous 
And lordly love! His footsteps follow me 
Like those swift bodeful writings on the beach ! 



85 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



X 



My loving is accomplished — I do yield. 
I am ashamed to look on heaven's face 
For I acknowledge that this human love 
Is greater than my spirit. O my God, 
Forgive me for my pitiable self, 
Forgive me for the weakness of my life! 

Yet there is joy in yielding. I can lie 
Tenderly on his spirit, knowing well 
No shade of bitterness, no slightest thing 
Stands grim between us. All my weariness 
Has ebbed out with the tide. Across the sea 
Love walks to me resplendent and I yield! 



[86] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XI 



Bleak gray of dawn and sorrowful slow rain 
And chill cold wind^ — this is my bridal morn ! 
Below upon the miserable sand 
That seems somehow too flat and desolate 
The old gray church shivers up to the trees 
Girt by a tombstone company. One light 
Shines timidly across the waste between, 
Prophetic that across the waste within 
A loving faith can send out sympathy. 
God knows I am not cowardly! My life 
Has passed so isolate from other lives 
That I must needs be brave, but this gray morn 
And the slow penitent rain have chilled my soul. 
The step is so irrevocable. Life 
Will lead on so immeasurably long 
From that old church-door. 

Will the way be glad. 
Or infinitely bitter — matters not. 
I have elected It and must go on 
Thro' shining meadows or thro' barren flats, 

[87] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 

Always Irrevocably I must go! 

But this great soul that I have loved, so loved, 

With every fibre of my being loved. 

With every bitter memory I hold — 

With him, what way can lead thro' agony, 

What path be altogether desert? See, 

The leaden clouds have lifted — O the sun ! 



[88] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XII 



Not that my love for him is all desire, 
Not that the woman me yearns after him 
A man, the master. No, the greatest good 
Of this vast passion in rne is the pride, 
The reverent worship of him. I am wrong, 

many bitter times my way is wrong, 
But he has never broken the pure faith 
My spirit gives his righteousness. 

O love, 
Great gracious love, thou soul of me, I yearn 
To walk with thee in that ideal ground 
Whereon thou buildest thine abiding place. 

1 would so leave the low paths of the world, 
So cut away the garments of the flesh, 

So tear away all passion from my soul 
That I might mount to thee — and in the light, 
Th* effulgent beauty of thine inmost life, 
Feeling my way, half-dazed, upward, reach thee 
In ecstasy of great attainment, know 
The infinite vast wonder of thy soul 
And so enfold me In all purity ! 

[89] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XIII 

O happy-hearted wind, thou flowest 
O'er the world-meadows! Ah, thou knowest 
The great gray peaks of mountain-lands and seas 
As blameless and as blue as heaven's peace ! 



O mighty-going wind thou criest. 

Over the universe thou fliest 

Like some presage-ful bird of sombre mien — 

So dost thou hover, vulture-dark dost lean! 



O wind, thou hast a heart of sympathy, 
Being so great, for such an one as I. 
The whole great world is grown so beautiful 
Since I have bowed to love and dutiful 
Done him obeisance, that my soul would shout 
The paeans of my happiness, put out 
The stars with the great breathings of its fire ! 
Lend me thy voice, O wind — give me thy arm ! 
Let me install myself, exempt from harm 

[90] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 

Of evil on a godly mountain-peak 
And sing my gladness ! O my spirit, speak 
To the great world, give them the mystic word 
That Love, Love, Love is sovereign and lord! 



[91] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XIV 

I know such mystically dear delight, 

Such exquisite and tranquil happiness 

It seems as tho' I rested In a cloud 

Golden as sunset and felt loving strength 

Lift me and bear me up forever. Ah, 

He Is so tender of me, quick to shield, 

Strong as the ancient rocks, yet animate 

With such dear passion. All our days are dreams 

Wherein great happenings are consummate 

And all our nights flow peacefully between 

Lit by white stars of purest tenderness. 

My life has widened Infinitely. Now 

I do not hold the aims of one small soul 

But grasp the beauty of two spirits, blent 

In wonderful ecstatic sympathy! 



[92] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XV 



Love, yonder little silver-crowned wave, 
Bringeth thee all the treasures of my heart, 
Throweth my loving on thy life-sand's breadth- 
In utter glad surrender, I am thine! 

Love, yonder exquisite-fair summer cloud 
Is where my prayer for thine eternal joy 
Passed up to God ! He touched it tenderly. 
And made it beautiful because of thee. 
Because of my great love and reverence ! 

Love, I can bring thee but my inmost self 
Quivering with fair happiness. O love, 
Take me and make me what thou deemest well- 
In utter glad surrender, I am thine! 



93 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XVI 

There is a time for tenderness, I ween — 
'Tis just when all the beauty of the day 
Lies warm against the bosom of the night 
And raises love-wide eyes to meet his lips ! 

There is a time for weariness. I know 
'Tis when the night has kissed day's beauty out 
Passionately. Her long gray twilight hair 
Trails on the earth. Where art thou, O my love? 



[94] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XVII 

Shadow reigns on thy brow. O let my art 

Soothe all the tired bitterness away! 

What evil canst thou suffer not mine own? 

What terrible swift agony can beat 

Molten-hot in thy veins and I not know 

The anguish with thee? O, our lives have grown 

Too closely knit for separation ! E'en 

In pain and sorrow we must be akin. 

It is my right. May I not suffer too? 



[95] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XVIII 

All night the wind has crept around the house 
Hunted and moaning like a stricken thing ; 
All night the waves have railed against the beach 
Threatening, clamoring and terrible! 

All night my heart has crouched within me cold 
Before the stroke of some great destiny; 
All night my spirit sobs impotently 
Before this imminent and bitter woe ! 



[96] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XIX 

He spoke to me quite calmly. O my God, 

My happiness has crashed to ruin! Lights 

Whirl in my brain. I am alone i' the dark 

With no one near me. O, I have believed, 

Trusted in him, lived, grown and loved in him, 

Seen all my future by the gracious light 

Of his great spirit — great, O God, no more ! 

I cannot understand my solitude. 

Where art thou, soul? Where art thou, love? 

O life. 
Crush me beneath thy wheels, crush me, I pray, 
But keep him pure for me ! My tender love. 
Come thou to me — come swiftly ! Thou art near^ 
But not with that black stain upon thy soul! 



[97] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XX 



He has a man's keen cruelty — a high 
Cold disregard for women. The black sin 
That yawns between us like a great abyss 
Opened another chasm for a soul 
Made hke me, womanly and delicate. 
The beauty of our life's all mockery 
Since some can drag It vilely In the dust. 
I think there's some great evil thing above, 
Squats toad-like In the clouds and laughs at us 
Poor flies that one day shake their wings too fast, 
And so fly up to him and down his jaws! 



[98] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXI 

O, is it right? If thou be there, O God, 

Answer me in mine anguish — is it right? 

I gave him every glory of my soul, 

All the white flowers of my womanhood, 

For which he flings me such vast bitterness 

As mounts above the world and drowns the stars 

And blackens all the universe ! My soul 

Is torn apart ! I cannot reach thee, God. 

I cannot touch thy garments to be healed. 

O, I am desolate! He was so dear, 

So infinitely, tenderly divine. 

So infinitely, loathsomely defiled! 



[99] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXII 

Here on my pillow, all my hair outspread 

Lies lavishly as he would have it ! Ah, 

I feel the tender passion of his touch 

On these poor locks. Can it be he is here? 

Can such wide desolation lie between 

Beings as fast united as we two? 

His breathing evenly disturbs the peace. 

I cannot hear the moaning of the sea 

That strives to send me subtle sympathy. 

I cannot hear the beating of the wind 

That knows my utter woe. I only hear 

His horrible slow breathing thro' the gloom. 

It rises over all the midnight world, 

It shuts out sea and wind and sympathy, 

Even and unrelenting as my doom ! 



[loo] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXIII 

We walk upon the beaches. All the world 
Applauds two model lovers. ' There they go, 
So sympathetic there's no need for words, 
So tender of each other ! See her move 
Aside to the hard path as wanting him 
To walk upon the smoother way! ' Ha, ha! 
We model lovers walk as unconstrained 
As mortal enemies. Our sympathy 
Is like the sympathy of mutual hate: 
My tenderness for him is just the wish 
To turn aside and quick avoid the hand 
He reaches out mechanic'ly for help. 



[lOl] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXIV 

Now after all, I lie on these great rocks 
Alone with God and Emptiness. My Self 
Stands up and faces me. I see her eyes 
Clouded with one black stain — one fatal brand 
Burns in the pallid whiteness of her brow. 
Thou Self, go cleanse thee! Thou art so pollute 
I cannot look at thee. O mighty Fate, 
What hast thou laid upon me? This is woe 
More bitter than the bitterness of loss, 
More cruel than the wrench of agony. 
Must I be wracked and torn and know my sin — 
The hate of his black spirit, but the love, 
Damnable, wretched, haunting love of him I 



[ 102] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXV 

Yes, I do love him^ — there is all my shame. 
Now after many years of hellish woe, 
Wherein our lives have walked as isolate 
One from the other as antipodes, 
I do acknowledge love for him. If he 
Came to me, seized me, held me to him, cried 
' Thou art mine own. Love me ! ' I would comply 
And nestle shamefully against his heart. 
Glad of the sweet companionship. O shame, 
Terrible shame of women that they love 
When he who tore their hearts out smiles awhile 
Then lightly hies him to his pleasure place ! 
He has outraged my purity and seized. 
Knowing himself unworthy, that white thing 
That could not be his due ! 

Infinity, 
Absorb me in thy boundless nullity! 
Hide the abomination of my love 
From God and Life and Beauty — Give me 
Death ! 

[103] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXVI 

Small children play beneath my window-ledge 
So near that I could touch their lightsome heads 
Were I not half-afraid to spoil their play 
By publishing my presence. Little gods, 
Sunny-haired, smiling, small — O, I would seize 
The boldest of the company and bear 
His lithe young beauty to a hiding-place 
And love him with the ecstasy of hope 
And woe and bliss within me. 

Nevermore 
May I press close against me a young thing 
Small, perfect, and mine own. O mother-soul, 
New-born within me, yearning, tremulous, 
Destined to hunger ever, mother-soul, 
Thou art the purest part of me intact 
Where all my other faculties are numb, 
Broken, defiled and blackened. O great God, 
I am so Infinitely desolate! 



[104] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXVII 

Weariness creeps upon me. At the end 
I ask no great exultant destiny, 
I ask no beating, winged flight, but rest. 
Peace and a little foothold for my soul. 
Let me lie passively and watch my life 
Pace by me dreamily and steadfast — sure 
That out there in the world men call to arms 
And wage the same brave warfare valiantly. 
I have so bruised my spirit in the fray. 
Beaten my being cruelly on the steel 
Of bitterness, I hunger for deep rest. 
Rest, infinite oblivion and repose 
As strangely changeless as Eternity! 



[105] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXVIII 

No, up, my soul, we fight. We wear our arms 
Like resolution. On we march steadfast. 
No cowardly oblivion, no repose. 
No craven closing of the eyes. Up, soul ! 
The battlefield lies wide as life and we 
Have all our lives to fight In! Victory! 



[io6] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXIX 

The little eager waves run up In the gloom, 

They call to me, Insistent — ' Sister, come ! ' 

I must rise earnestly and go to them, 

Out under quietude of waning night, 

Out to the wide firm beaches — to the sea ! 

How eagerly and formlessly It heaves 

Darkly beneath the darkness of the sky. 

Breathes a low whisper of eternity, 

Breathes^ — then the quietude. I am afraid. 

In the thick darkness I can feel the wings 

Of a great spirit multitude. I know 

God walks this way ! Come up, ye little waves. 

Pitiful weeping waves, come up to me ! 

Let me enfold ye In my barren heart. 

Ye win forget the solitude of night 

And the great empty solitude of day ! 

No, get ye back. The Mother-Sea Is wroth. 

Lashes her indignation at my feet. 

O, be thou gentle — I am desolate ! 

Why am I troubled? This vast mystery 
[107] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 

Holds no great menace for me. Harken — there ! 
Did I not hear a footstep beating, swift 
Along the barren sands? 

God, is it Thou? 
That solitary figure and the sands 
Placid below, the sky and the great sea — 
I saw it all before. 

'You here? You— here?' 
He answered, ' I can play the farce no more. 
Let us walk quietly out to the sea. 
Leave the fierce strife and lose identity. 
Dying united where we lived apart. 
Forgive me — that were cowardice! Come in 
To the low level of our common life ! ' 

*0 no. 
Let me see dawn run lightly o'er the sky ! ' 
We waited. Thro' the midnight-gray expanse 
Only the melancholy pain of waves 
That sobbed along the beaches bitterly. 

With the white dawn came peace. I saw my woe 
Futile and foolish. All my wickedness 
Of judgment where Eternity must judge. 
I turned to him and all the tenderness 
[108] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 

Of all my loving leaped into my eyes. 
' My spirit is too hungry. Love, forgive ! ' 
His heart flamed up to greet me and above 
The pure dawn touched us very sacredly! 



[109] 



THIS WOMAN— AND THIS MAN 



XXX 

Some great white thing lies stricken in our hearts, 

Some good of infinite wide loveliness 

Can never glorify our souls. We live 

The bitter life of failure wearily. 

All vast ideal beauty lieth dead, 

And yet, our love has consecrated death ! 



[no] 



MATINS 

Last night, my once-beloved, I lay gaunt 
Upon the narrow bed of agony 
And felt gray wind upon my face — O cold, 
So cold was I with that inherent chill 
Deepest around the heart that my poor tears 
Froze on my face — O icy bitter drops, 
I could not brush them off ! 

I dreamed of you, 
One of those terrible insistent dreams. 
The folly of my spirit-emptiness, 
The barren mockery of that old stir 
I never feel — shall never feel again; 
The utter weak impossibility 
Of giving, giving what I cannot give — 
Flooded me like a steel and bitter wave 
From some wide awful ocean of regret! 
This morning as I rise in weariness 
With a same hopeless question in my mind; 
Wherefore? I find your letter written fair 
And loving. God, the mummery! my mask 
I strip off! Lo, I loose my bounden soul — 
No love, no love, and I must live It out! 



[Ill] 



A LOST LOVE 

O, I am weary for you, deadly weary, 
Sick of the clamor of my daily living. 
Hungry for rest, peace, tenderness! O Love, 
The world oppresses me, a bitter burden 
Laid on the sensitive fine spirit-vision, 
Blinding me with the coarseness of its meaning. 
Its pettiness and endless weary noise ! 
O, I have need of great sweet sympathy, 
O, I have need of some dear firm belief, 
O, I have need of some vast loving faith! 
Dearest, come near me thro' the gloom of failure. 
Across the deserts where I walked but lately. 
Seeking a love, seeking a tender spring 
To bathe my aching lips, across the forests 
Of disillusion, O come steadfastly! 

Touch me with some immortal eager yearning. 
Touch me with inspiration, bring me courage 
To mount up thro' the lower air of warfare 
Up thro' the midnight to the stars! 

O dearest, 
It may be I have wronged you, built a temple 
Too coldly white, too sternly idealistic 

[112] 



A LOST LOVE 

For your abode. I worshipped you. Forgive 

me: 
Let me but love you for your wondrous beauty, 
The ecstasy of hand-clasp In the twilight, 
The touch of living passions, lips that linger 
Against the shining chrism of your forehead, 
Hearts that leap madly one against the other; 
Let me but love you with my all of loving ! 



[113] 



THE ANSWER 

No, dear, I cannot love you as you wish, 

But from my soul I thank you ! Could you know 

The great exultant happiness of hope 

That sings within me since you love me, dear! 

You are my solitary lover — all 

Have left me destitute! Until you came 

I was the lover! Then the silence thrilled, 

Quivered a little, broke before your step 

And all the silver bells of living air 

Rang out majestically! On, you came 

Masterful, holding out a gift to me. 

Stretching great hungry arms to seize me — me, 

the vast wonder of it ! Your wide eyes 
Lifted a worshipful hot love to mine. 

Love, love and yet more terrible, strong love! 
And I who longed so passionately, cried 
So futilely for tenderness like yours^ — 

1 who was lonely with a loneliness 
No life could vitalize to ecstasy — 

I who have wanted love so poignantly 
Am dumb before the great desired thing 
And have no love to give you in return ! 



[114] 



SELF-KNOWLEDGE 

In the great march of long Infinity 
What am I ? Why am I thus racked by hope, 
Tuned to divinest frenzy by my love, 
Tortured by deep remorse, consumed to know, 
To know, know, know! 

What am I? After all 
A thousand hearts have suffered all I bear, 
A thousand souls have loved as I can love, 
A thousand lives have paced along the world 
And many thousands shall come after me 
In a long ceaseless unresisting march, 
Eternal, ever-going! I create. 
But God created universe before 
Wherein all poets sing themselves thro' life. 
What are my little deeds, hopes, failure, strife 
To the harmonious and wondrous sv/ing 
Of world and star and firmament? My tears? 
What are they when the tears of infinite. 
Rain pours upon our world? What are my deeds 
When midnight marches down the universe 
With companies of stars upon his train 
And hush of beauty palpitating? 

God, 
What am I in a universe? 
[115] 



SELF-KNOWLEDGE 

One point 
One little point of life that can resume 
In its small compass all a universe! 



[ii6] 



SOUL 

We are as ultimately isolate 

One from the other as if seas of air, 

Void, voiceless, fathomless, divided us. 

No help above us but the empty blue ; 

No hope beneath us but deep nothingness; 

No life but universal solitude. 

Thus we reach out our hands to other hands, 

Meet in the darkness for a breathing-space, 

Perchance hold great community of thought, 

Ideal, vision, then seek deeper bonds, 

Strive to knit soul with soul accomplishing 

For one eternity of instant bliss 

Infinite sympathy! Then (pity us. 

Great God Creator!) lose the mutual light, 

Feel the great walls of darkness close on us. 

And once more dwell as isolate as death ! 



[117] 



APOLOGY 

Why do I laugh? Because my very life 
Has turned into the inmost chamber, death; 
Has crouched, a pallid shivering reproof 
At God and sunshine, by the awful wall 
Of secret sin — ^because my soul is choked 
Among the withered vines of stricken hope! 
Why do I laugh? Because my eyes have poured 
In bitter tears the gladness of their spring 
Utterly out! The sorrow has made way 
Mysteriously to the fields of peace 
And bubbling mirth and mountainous delight 
And tree-tall joy! 

First cometh tragedy. 
After — the human ripeness, comedy! 
Why do I laugh? Because I often wept. 
Come, laugh with me into the arms of death! 
Who knows? A smile may warm his chilly soul! 



i8] 



THE BRIDGE 

I am the bridge — stretched here like a thread 
Of luminous silver taut in the sky, 
Under the blue, I hang! Below, 
Tree-length below me, water runs 
Ever and ever, tumbles, leaps. 
Shrieks in wild passion, sobs like pain. 
Whispers and laughs — a human thing, 
A divine clear frenzy — water runs! 
Against the pallid sky, tall trees. 
Leafless and dehcate-branched, design 
Rare arabesque. Who can read such device 
God writes above? Yet all may see! 
Give us the key to the mystery, wind! 
What know If I am the bridge ! 

Two shores 
Draw off in proud beauty — two pebbled lines 
Of beach and sand and solitude. 
Two separate shores draw proudly off. 
And I — the bridge — can span the way 
Lying so widely between them — I, 
Consummate structure of steel and wood, 
God-planned and man-built— I, the bridge. 
Can span the void, can unite two shores ! 
I am the bridge! 

[119] 



THE SONG OF THE SUBWAY 

Out of the darkness I come^ — 
Out of terrific black chaos — 
Thro' the great echoing tunnel, 
Generous arching, but dreadful 
In its deep underground stillness! 
Out of that silence make way — 
I issue fleet, fleet from my prison. 
Break my black bonds, cast my mantle 
Of midnight and wide desolation! 

The darkness was thick as I passed, 
The emptiness seized on me! Fingers 
Of vapor-blue demons assailed me, 
Missed my firm Iron-clad hugeness ! 
I trampled my foes In the road-bed — 
I strode on the demons that mocked me. 
Clamored derisively downward. 
And sent their wild glee to the archway ! 
' Free,' shouted all my vast framework — 
' Free,' all the archways applauded — 
'Free,' welcomed God and the sunlight! 

Brief the sweet term of my freedom. 
Brief as the triumph of beauty. 
[120] 



THE SONG OF WHE SUBWAY 

I am a creature of darkness, 

Born of the hurrying chaos. 

Back must I plunge like a mad thing 

Into the cursed drear silence. 

I shriek — for my heart Is a discord — 

Discord and clamor metallic! 

Doomed am I — doomed to long bondage ! 

See — the swift sudden light beckons — 
I must restrain my vast motion. 
Eager-eyed people are waiting. 
Here at the station I rest me — 
Lovingly toward me they hasten — 
In — get ye In to my bosom, 
All ye — my children who hasten! 
Have I not loved ye and borne ye 
Swift, as the lightning titanic, 
Swift, as the thunder majestic! 

Am I not sentient, glowing? 

Am I not pulsed with their life-blood? 

Beats not their heart in my bosom, 

Iron, magnificent? Soars not 

A something transcendent within me, 

[121] 



THE SONG OF THE SUBJFAY 

Blent of their myriad soul-light, 
Sad with their hunger and wailing, 
With joy multitudinous, hopeful? 
Beats not my heart with their impulse? 
Soars not my iron soul upward? 

Out of the darkness I come — 
Out of terrific black chaos. 
Thro' the great echoing tunnel. 
Generous arching, but dreadful 
In its deep underground stillness! 
Out of that silence — make way — 
I issue, fleet, fleet from my prison. 
Break my black bonds, cast my mantle 
Of midnight and wide desolation! 



[122] 



THE GRAY APE 

Sitteth shivering and gray 
Thro' the golden summer day 
Sitteth melancholy there! 
In that aged shriveled air, 
In that sloping wrinkled front, 
I can read the ancient vaunt 
Of the animal supreme! 

With long, agile, winding arms 
He mechanically warms, 
Wraps himself and shivers still. 
His bright eyes have found their fill 
In the human farce that runs 
Endless by his window ! Suns 
Marched above him long ago, 
Pierced the jungle roof below 
With an unrelenting beam ! 

Hark the jungle-music! Hear, 
Past his little human ear 
Myriad and sheenful noise 
Of the evening leaves! His toys 
Drop unheeded at his feet — 
O how whimsically sweet! 

[123] 



THE GRAY APE 

Gone — -the street-cries hurry In 
With a hideous old din 
Like the clamor of a dream! 

Sitteth melancholy still, 

Bodeful, brooding on great ill — 

All the mighty motions spent, 

All the age-wide wonderment 

That by some consummate span 

Might have made of him a man. 

Not a little slinking ape 

Of repellent lanky shape! 

O the unrelenting plan 

Which by some consummate span 

Might have made of him a man ! 



[124] 



MONA LISA 

Inscrutably she smiles. Across her face 
Winds of great agony sweep ruthlessly. 
Passes the breath of joy, a gasp of pain, 
Happiness, tranquil tenderness, death's shade. 
Icily pallid, life's wild thrill of hope. 
Sorrow and all the kindred bitterness 
Of memory — so pass they, but behold, 
Inscrutably, eternally she smiles! 



[125] 



A CLOUD 

Yon cloud is a messenger hound! 
Gray-pelted and fleet 
To the feet of my love he is bound. 
Lo, welcome him, Sweet! 

He hath ranged the blueness of heaven, 

Hath captured a star 

And of mystical asphodels, seven 

He beareth afar! 

Fleet, fleet, O my messenger hound, 

Cloud-footed, O speed! 

To the feet of my love art thou bound, 

In my gifts she shall read 

All the magical love I have found, 

Shall interpret my need! 

Range the blueness of heaven — O speed! 



126] 



BACCHANALIAN 

Drink deep of life ! To the last lowest dregs 
Of bitterness, quaff all the dainty foam 
Of ecstasy, quintessence of the draught! 
Drink deep! Some mighty hand may grasp the 

cup 
And spill the crimson vintage ! Drink, I say ! 

Drink deep of love! Who knows what potency 

May change the sweet to bitterness — may crush 

The rose-leaf goblet into nothingness? 

Drink deep, nor question what may lie concealed 

Beneath the glitter of the draught, what woe. 

Cold disillusion and oblivion! 

Drink deep of love nor question! Drink, I say! 

Drink deep of death! Plunge in the infinite, 
Down ever deeper to the blackest depths 
No spirit ever quaffed ! Drink bravely, man ! 
Some greater draught awaits thee, some rare wine 
More golden than the tenderness of love, 
More crimson than the majesty of life — 
Drink deep of death, O man, nor be afraid ! 



[127] 



SICK FANCIES 

Pain has become to me the throbbing beat 

Of all the hearts of men. Steady, superb, 

Marches the progress of my suffering 

Till all my thoughts throb with It, pulse and throb. 

Steadily, unrelenting, horribly! 

This Is not pain — It Is the beating woe 

Of many million spirits, blent, transfused — 

The aching spirit of the universe ! 

Caught In the subtle net of circumstance 
We struggle vainly. Yet, O mighty God, 
Let us look up between the cloaking mesh 
And gather thy white stars Into our souls ! 

Yon blinking window fascinates me ! I 

Would see what lleth outside! O, I yearn 

To feel the rush of dear humanity; 

The struggling force of life, the strength of souls 

Eager against each other — once more know 

The Interchange of little gentle ways. 

The warm hand-clasp — the happiness, the hope. 

And all the clanging din of war! 

I He 
In this small room companioned by my pain, 
Seeing the long procession of my dreams 
["8] 



SICK FANCIES 

That files so ghostly thro' my spirit ways ! 
These dull blank walls — this meagre little bed, 
The pageantry of suffering and death! 

The men that heal us lose their kindliness 

By constant contact with our body's ills. 

O no, I do not blame them — they are good. 

This restiveness seems scarcely manly! Pain 

Of body is so infinitely less 

Than that accursed agony of soul 

That lately rent my passions ! 

Lo, one stands 
White-capped and kindly, summoning me there 
To meet alleviation of my hurt. 
They will press down the cone and shut out light. 
Leaving me a great agony of fire 
Poured in my veins — no air to breathe, no air, 
Only the hell-thick ether — then, long sleep. 
The skilful stab of bright consummate steel, 
Directed by a masterful, strong hand — 
Rehef, no pain — no pain! 

So, I will go! 
But If I never wake? This body can 
Not chain that wonderful and tender thing. 
The flame-quick mounting soul that lives in me! 

[ 129] 



THE HEALER 

Heart of all the World, I hold Thee here 
Between my fingers, pulsing terribly! 

1 look into the blazing eyes of joy, 

I catch the human rapture of release 

From old, long haggard pain^ — and then, behold, 

I see the quiet calm of Motherhood, 

I hear the little whimpering shrill cry 

Of new-born agony and fear and hope. 

I see the coward shiver icily 

Before the scintillant and bitter steel; 

I see the brave man going to great pain 

Like a young lover to a bridal tryst ! 

I heal — I give release. I know all life. 
Alike at the momentous entrance, when 
Reluctantly the soul breathes into flesh. 
Impelled and most unwilling — at the last 
When Death sits at the pillow, hand on wrist, 
Gaunt fingers at the ashy lips. Behold, 
O Heart of all the World, I hold Thee here, 
Between my fingers, pulsing terribly! 



[130] 



THE LOVER 

God gives me love! He opens my young eyes 
To the white glory of true woman-guise. 
The steadfast gaze — the palHd hand that lies 
So light, so tender — like the summer skies 
Just where they touch the waiting earth I Sunrise, 
Moon-birth^ — the silver stars with age-wise eyes, 
The life-blood flush of sunset where day dies. 
What are they all? / hail /o'i;^-rise, 
Love-birth ! Now praised be God, I love ! 

God gives me love — the heart wrench of fierce 

pain, 
The dull half-brutish longing for great days 
Of life now dead that must not rise again. 
The very hell of love — Yet, murkish haze 
Of sorrow, parts — love-birth, love-rise — 
I love — still, God be praised. I love! 



[131] 



THE SUNSET 

The hot, gold color beats along the west 
And quietly aspire the slender trees 
To incommunicable far-off heights. 
Above, the wide blue greatness of the sky 
Arches in infinite and tender calm 
And all around us peace of evening lies, 
As if the world were waiting vision-filled! 

The great warm glory of your woman's love; 
The thoughts that reach up heav'nward from your 

mind 
As those far-off immaculate young trees; 
The arching wonder of your sky-wide Soul ; 
And my heart waiting peaceful, vision-filled I 



[132] 



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